Murder on the Mediterranean or
What I Did for My Summer Vacation
by Lexxie
***
DISCLAIMERS: The Pre-Mycenean Posse of X:WP does not belong to me. That honor goes to the almighty execs at Ren Pics. I'm not getting paid for this, but the story itself still belongs to me, me ME!!! (sorry...that time of the month.) So no stealing, please, or I will be very sad and make pouty faces at my computer.
VIOLENCE: Check out the title. But don't fret, dear readers, nothing graphic.
SEX: Just kissing of the male/female variety. I'll leave the rest to your imaginations.
RATING: mild R
TIMELINE: After "When in Rome" but before "A Good Day" (Pompey's cute head is still firmly attached).
FEEDBACK: Gimme, gimme! My muse gives me an attitude if no one feeds her.
NOTE: Ooookaay, folks...as if "Precious" wasn't weird enough for ya, here we've got an X/A murder mystery!!!! (crowd groans). Anyway, this was inspired by Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None," and by the fact that I've always wanted to do a story with those hot Roman boys (rrrowwr).
Kay, I'm gonna shut my trap now, while y'all read the friggen thing (crowd sighs in relief).
***
PROLOGUE
Varmond stood over the large oak desk in the captain's quarters reading a list of the passengers scheduled to board his ship tomorrow afternoon. Outside his window, a full moon rose in bright splendor against the late evening sky, and the warm lights of the nearby port town gave the scene a cozy, homey look.
The ambiance went unnoticed by the aging seafarer, however.
He scratched his bewhiskered chin, frowning, as his gaze traveled down the parchment.
"Bad lot," he muttered to himself. "Nothin' but a bunch of power-hungry bastards." With a deepening frown, he read each name carefully, shaking his head at each as he reached the end of the list.
But when Varmond read the last passenger's name, his eyebrows shot up in deep surprise. "What's *she* doing here?"
A soft footfall behind him caused him to stiffen. Suddenly, a sharp pain tore through his midsection and quickly climbed to his torso. Gasping, the captain dropped the list, looked down and saw, perversely fascinated, the dull silver glint of a sword protruding from his stomach. He fell to the wooden floor, face frozen in shock, as an overwhelming darkness swept over him.
Dimly, he felt someone's hot breath against his ear, and heard a painfully raspy voice say softly to him, "She'll soon find out." Then, with agonizing swiftness, he felt the blade pulled out of his body.
A heavy moment of stillness passed, silent but for his soft whimpers of pain. Then he felt heavy steps move toward his door and the soft click of the lock.
Amidst a haze of pain, he could feel the warmth of his own blood soaking through his tunic. As Varmond's eyes finally closed, his last thought was of how gently the water was rocking his boat tonight.
***
CHAPTER 1 - TRAVEL ARRANGEMENTS
The late morning crowds in the small port-side town of Choragos were in full swing by the time the pair arrived. On one side of the wide street, merchants were busily advertising their wares and their customers were just as animatedly trying to bargain them down. On the other side, one could see the hulls of several massive ships as they sat on the dock, and beyond them was the endless expanse of the Mediterranean, blue as the summer sky above.
Amidst the hustle and bustle, two women found shade between a tanner's stall and a stable. One, an Amazon by the looks of her wooden staff and attire, had an uncertain expression on her fair face. "Xena, are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" the honey-haired woman asked for the fifth time that morning.
The tall, statuesque woman before her rolled her eyes in mock exasperation. "Honestly, Gabrielle, how many times do I have to say it? It's your sister's wedding, for Gaia's sake! Your family expects you to be *there,* not with me on some mundane political side-trip."
Gabrielle nodded her head impatiently. "Yeah, yeah, I know all that, Xena. But they invited you, too. This little trip to Credo can wait."
"No it can't," the warrior retorted gently. "King Reius expects me to be there. Every important military leader between here and the Ionian is going to be attending his summit, and I'm needed for crowd control. Besides," she added ruefully, "your parents aren't exactly my biggest fans."
Gabrielle pursed her lips in agreement. "Good point." She looked up at her tall, dark friend for a moment, then said with a crooked smile, "Well, I suppose you can keep yourself out of trouble for the three weeks I'll be gone. Right?"
A brilliant smile spread across Xena's face, seeming to vanquish the darkness she exuded, and she wrapped her best friend in a warm hug. "No promises," she replied with a twinkle.
Gabrielle smiled back, and wagged a playful finger at her. "I mean it Xena. You've been taxing yourself a lot lately, and I know I haven't helped a whole lot. Let's both just take a break from the daily grind. You know, *relax.* You do know what that word means, don't you?" She was only half joking.
The warrior quirked an eyebrow in mock hurt. "Of course! I can relax."
"Uh-huh," Gabrielle threw back doubtfully. Then she reached up and drew the taller woman in a hug. "Okay, I'd better get going," she said as she stepped back. "You take care of yourself, you hear? You relax."
"Yes Mommy," Xena replied in sugary sweet voice. Her friend stuck out her tongue in response, before giving another sunny smile and disappearing in the throng of people with a final wave.
Xena watched her retreating back, then turned to face the line of ships tied to the docks. Each was large and wooden, some more worn than others. She could see crew members working on some last minute preparations, scrambling on decks or shouting at each other in their "colorful" lingo. To a casual observer, the mood would have been one of chaos, but to Xena — who, in her darker days, was quite the pirate — it was merely the daily drudgery of a life spent on the sea.
Xena approached one crew member who was busily scraping barnacles off a nearby ship's hull. "Excuse me," she began, tapping him on one brawny shoulder.
Irritated, he turned around, but his expression turned leering when he caught sight of her voluptuous figure encased in leather. "Well, what can I do for you?" he asked with a wide smile.
Inwardly, Xena smirked. 'Another one of these,' she thought wryly. She cleared her throat, causing the sailor's eyes to stop their perusal of her form and meet her icy blue ones. "Where is the ship that's headed to Credo?"
"Credo?" he repeated. "You're one of King Reius' party?" At her slight nod, he asked teasingly, "Why's a nice lady like you planning to travel with a bunch of ruffians like those?"
'Nice lady?' She would've laughed if the sailor's blatantly obvious leer wasn't irritating her so much. As it was, she was barely keeping herself from just "pinching" the information out of him. Aloud, in a deceptively steady voice, she answered, "I was invited to join them."
The man's grin widened as he stepped closer to her. "Care to hear *my* invitation?" he asked in a low voice heavy with suggestion.
Suddenly, he was wincing in agony as Xena — who's had just about enough of his lame come-ons — reached out a hand and squeezed his nose cruelly between two fingers, forcing him to her eye-level. "Which. Ship." she ground out, her beautiful blue eyes glinting ominously.
His bravado having promptly left him, the sailor raised a shaking finger and pointed to a large ship with red trim near the end of the docks. "Ugh — the 'Sea Star'," he gasped.
A falsely bright smile crossed Xena's face, and she released his tortured nose after a final squeeze. "There. Was that so hard?" Satisfied, she turned on her heel and walked toward the ship to which he had pointed.
She had barely gone ten paces when she felt a familiar tingle about her. In a quick spark of light, a strikingly handsome man clad in black leather appeared next to her, much to her dismay.
"You know, Xena," Ares began in a low drawl, "there was a time when you would've castrated that little toad for disrespecting you like that."
"I just cleaned my sword," she muttered darkly in return. With a quick turn of her head, she looked at the crowd of people which continued to flow past her, obviously not noticing the Olympian in their presence. With an irritated shake of her head, Xena ducked into a small alley, knowing that the god of war would follow her. Once she was certain that no one could hear, she hissed at him, "What do you want?"
"Now there's a loaded question," he replied with a lusty grin.
Furiously stamping down the rebellious part of her that couldn't help responding to his tone, Xena said impatiently, "Look, Ares, if you've come to bother me, do it later. I've got a ship to board."
"Well, you'll be pleased to know that it was precisely for that reason I decided to visit you today."
"What are you talking about?" she asked, frustrated and a little curious.
Strangely, the trademark cockiness of Ares' features seemed to fade slightly, and he seemed to hesitate with his answer. "I don't want you to go on that ship."
"What?!"
Hastily, Ares explained, "Something is going to happen there, Xena, something bad."
Xena's eyes narrowed in response. "You're planning to sabotage the summit, aren't you? You just don't want me to spoil your plans."
"No!" the god exploded, surprising Xena. Ares saw her reaction, and took a deep breath, running a hand through his curly black locks. Guiltily, Xena tried to keep her eyes from following his hand's path.
After a moment of collecting his thoughts, Ares began again. "Listen. There's something wrong with that ship, Xena. I can feel it. I don't know what it is, but I know that people are going to die. I don't want you anywhere near it."
It was not an explanation that she expected, but even as she looked in his eyes for signs of deceit, she knew that he was being honest with her. As conniving as he may be, Ares wouldn't dare lie to *her*. That fact and also the knowledge that he cared about her safety caused her to insides to warm a little, but her cool warrior facade expertly hid that response.
Instead, she said firmly, "If people are going to get hurt, then that's another reason for me to go on this trip."
Ares stared at her for a moment in mild disbelief. "Did you just hear what I said? You could get killed on that ship Xena, and I wouldn't be able to help you because I can't even figure out what the problem is!"
"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you!" she retorted, his closeness stirring her to the point of discomfort. "Now, if you don't mind...." she trailed off, pointedly looking at Ares, who was blocking her exit to the street. She needed to get out of there and away from him, *fast,* if only to regain her composure.
With a resigned gaze, Ares stared at his Princess, whose blazing blue eyes were daring him to argue the point with her. Sighing, he stepped away from the alley's exit, allowing her to escape the confining space. "Fine," he said gruffly, palms held up in a noncommittal gesture, as she brushed past him. "Don't say I didn't warn you," he called to her retreating back.
She didn't turn.
The war god gave another heavy sigh, and tilted his head to the side, contemplating this new turn of events. Of course, he'd have to follow her. He wasn't just going to sit around and dilly-dally in a few trifle skirmishes while the one being he cared about walked straight into trouble. Not that he doubted her abilities of self-defense — Xena's skills were nearly a match for his own. 'But just to be on the safe side,' he reasoned, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Yeah, he'll keep an eye on her. 'And if she doesn't like it, then oh well. It's not my fault she's stubborn.'
He grinned devilishly. "Damn, I love it when she's stubborn!"
***
Part: 2
CHAPTER 2 - GETTING TO KNOW THE LOCALE
After marching away from Ares in a huff, Xena made her way through the ever-thickening crowd until she stood in front of the Sea Star. She really was a handsome ship, she observed, taking in the crisp white sails, the brightly painted trimmings and the wooden deck which showed no signs of wear. Xena nodded in approval and moved to board the ship, but stopped short when she got her first good look at the figurehead.
It was huge, about two feet taller than Xena herself, and it depicted a mermaid crowned with a huge wreath of flowers sitting sedately on a rock as the water splashed around her. She moved closer, fascinated by the intricate attention to detail. Everything about it was finely crafted and given careful attention, down to the small crevices of the rock and the scales on the mermaid's fins.
Something was off though.
A frown marring her smooth brow, Xena stepped back and stared at the figurehead again. The head's too big, she thought. Indeed, that was the only failing in the whole piece. Everything was perfectly proportional, except the mermaid's head seemed too large for the rest of her.
Before Xena could analyze this further, however, a voice from somewhere above her shouted down. "You'd be Xena, I presume?"
Startled, Xena looked up and saw, leaning over the side of the ship, a white-haired man in sailor garb looking at her. "That's me," she hollered back. "You Captain Varmond?"
"Ah, no, lassie. But I am the captain of this here ship. Come on board," he called.
With a shrug, Xena boarded the ship and was met by the captain on the deck. Jubilantly shaking her hand in his wrinkled, callused one, the man said with a smile, "I be Kragus, lassie. Captain and...eh...a fine admirer of yer work."
Xena arched an eyebrow. "My work?"
The man's smile grew even wider. "Aye. You're a legend, you know...towns all over Greece proclaim you as their hero."
A small, strange smile briefly graced Xena's own lips. "I'm hardly a hero," she replied.
"Aye, ye are...and a modest one, at that," Kragus chortled.
Xena took a deep breath, and decided to change the subject. "Where are the other passengers?" she asked abruptly, looking around her. "I was told that there would be ten of us on this boat."
A scowl darkened Kragus's worn features. "Aye, yes...nine more, lassie, and not one of them worth your while. If it were up to me, I'd just as soon make them swim the whole bloody way to Credo."
"What do you mean?" she asked, puzzled by the man's sudden change of mood.
"Why, Xena. What a pleasant surprise," a masculine voice crooned from behind her.
The instant Xena heard it, her blood turned icy while her eyes practically glowed with hatred. Kragus saw it, and instinctively took a step back. She knew that voice, spent the better part of her life hating it and its owner. But she would not let him win...she would not lose it, not here, not in front of him.
Taking a deep breath, Xena slowly turned around and said thinly, "Caesar."
The Roman stood there, sunlight glinting off his bronze armor and his supremely arrogant eyes. Flapping in the breeze behind him was a rich red cape, the length of which made him appear taller. He eyed Xena appreciatively, with a hint of amusement. "My, my. You're looking better every time we meet, my dear."
Xena stood stock still, but narrowed her eyes. "I'd thank you, if I cared."
Deliberately, the man stepped closer to Xena and looked into her eyes intensely. "Oh, you care."
A pointed cough behind him drew their attention to another man, dressed similarly to Caesar, who had apparently just stepped on board. "A reunion," Pompey said dryly, walking up to them. "How quaint."
Caesar smirked. "You remember Pompey, of course," he said genially to Xena. "My...subordinate."
Ignoring Pompey's angry look, Xena glared venomously at Caesar, and said silkily, "Oh, I remember."
All this time, Kragus had watched the barbed exchange and felt the tension between the three grow palpably. He now ventured a comment. "I'm guessing you all have been introduced?"
Both Romans looked at the man for the first time, and smirked as if they hadn't expected him to be more perceptive. Xena merely rolled her eyes and muttered through gritted teeth, "Unfortunately."
"Well," Kragus uncomfortably cleared his throat. "I'll be yer captain, gentlemen. Kragus is me name."
He shifted under the gazes of the two other men, who looked at him as if he were some offending cockroach.
Xena saw his reaction and took pity on him. "Kragus," she spoke up, taking the man's elbow and purposefully pulling him away from the other two. "Why don't you show me to my cabin?"
Kragus smiled gratefully. "Aye, right away, lassie."
As they walked away, Caesar and Pompey stood looking at their retreating backs, in particular, Xena's. "This trip is going to be much more interesting than I'd bargained for," Caesar said with a smile.
***
Xena intently paced around her cabin after Kragus had left her, muttering under her breath. "Just my luck. Leave it to the slimy bastard to ruin my trip." So intent was she on this dilemma concerning her mortal enemy that she didn't notice Ares' presence until she walked straight into his solid chest.
"Ares!" she yelled, surprised at his appearance, and a little infuriated that she didn't notice him sooner. "What are you doing here?"
"Just wishing you bon voyage," he said innocently. "So ol' Julius is here, huh?" At her glare, he grinned teasingly. "Guess it's just not your day."
"Are you following me?" she asked accusingly.
"Oh, I wouldn't put it that way," he said languidly. "That kinda makes me sound...bad." As he spoke, his voice dropped to a low timbre, and he moved closer to Xena, close enough for her to smell the dark, rich scent of him.
"No," he continued, reaching out a hand to tease her earlobe. "Not following. Let's just say I'm here to keep a close...personal...eye on my Princess."
Despite the long list of epithets her brain was screaming at her, Xena found herself responding to his touches. She leaned into his hand as he softly caressed her cheek. "How personal?" she challenged in a low purr, moving her own body closer to his.
Ares' eyes had grown dark and his voice husky. "Very personal."
He lowered his hands until they rested lightly at the small of her back. Slowly, he lowered his head until her lips were just a hairs width away from his.
"I demand a bigger cabin!" yelled an obnoxiously loud voice right outside her door. Startled, Xena's eyes flew open and she seemed to snap out of her reverie. Hastily, she removed herself from Ares' grasp.
The god shook his head in annoyance. "Really...we have to work on our timing."
"Shut up," Xena hissed, trying to calm her heart which was threatening to burst through her leather bodice. Walking to the door, she put her ear against it. "Who is that?"
"Yet another pip squeak who's gonna get it from me for interrupting us," he replied deadpan. Off her look, he grinned slyly. "Oh, don't worry, I'm just kidding. Someone's gonna die on this boat — I told you as much — but it won't be because of me." He gave her a mock bow and said seductively, "We'll finish this later." With that, he disappeared in a sparkle.
Xena leaned against the door, eyes closed, as she tried to shake off the heady sensation she inevitably got whenever he was in her presence. After a few moments, she was relatively composed, and she opened her door to see what the commotion outside was all about.
***
"You call this a cabin?" the voice yelled as Xena stepped outside. "I call it a closet!"
She heard Kragus meekly reply, "All the cabins in this here ship are jus' like this one." His words were followed by a thud and a grunt of pain.
As Xena turned the corner she saw a tall hulking man dressed in a long fur coat holding Kragus by his lapels against the wall outside her cabin. Nearby Caesar and Pompey stood watching, amused by the spectacle.
"I want a bigger cabin," the man growled at the frightened captain.
Suddenly, a hand clamped down around his wrist, gripping him tightly enough to cause pain. Stunned, the big man turned his beady eyes on Xena, whose voice, though soft, carried a clear threat. "Then go on a different ship."
Silently they stared at each other, neither moving, though inside the man was quaking. There was a demon in those eyes, he realized, as he watched them gleam maniacally. Realizing that he was probably playing with fire here, he reluctantly dropped Kragus to the floor.
"Who are you?" he demanded haughtily, sizing her up.
"She's Xena," Pompey spoke up, impressed, and a little aroused, by Xena's ire. "Perhaps you've heard of her?"
Xena glared at Pompey, while the man's glare grew even more. "Xena," he repeated in an angry growl. "You turned my brother's army against him in Polybos. Thanks to you, he lost his battle against the Athenians!"
"And who are you, exactly?" Caesar asked disdainfully.
"Ragnar," he replied, not taking his eyes off Xena. "This bitch ruined my brother's reputation."
Xena gave a dismissive toss of her head. "Your brother was an incompetent leader. His army would have turned on him eventually."
Ragnar leaned close to Xena. "Deceitful whore. Watch your back." With a last withering glower at the Romans, the man marched into his cabin, slamming the door.
There was a moment of silence, then Kragus, who was still brushing himself off, said with a frown, "I'd take his advice, if I were you, lassie. You've just made yourself an enemy."
"Yeah," Xena replied in mock thoughtfulness. "I'm always doing that, for some reason."
"You always did say that you're a woman of many skills," Caesar said smoothly from behind her.
"I'll bet," Pompey smirked suggestively.
Xena narrowed her eyes at him in exasperation. "Look, toga boy," she began icily, "Don't get on my bad side or I'll take that head of yours and make a punching bag out of it." Beside Pompey, Caesar smirked.
Xena turned her icy gaze his way. "And you...." she began, moving closer to him until their faces were just inches apart. "You don't even want to try to cross me," she finished in a soft whisper, that was somehow heavy with danger.
"Me?" he answered innocently. "On the contrary, my dear, I would love to just enjoy this little excursion with you. For...old time's sake, you might say." He grinned.
Old time's sake my ass, Xena thought heatedly.
"Eh, ya might wanna save all this aggression for later," Kragus said slowly, his eyes fixed behind them. "Unless I'm mistaken, those'd be the rest of the passengers."
Xena and the Romans turned to look. Sure enough, a group of five men were making their way up to the ship's deck. They were a motley assortment of burly, boorish men, and Xena arched an eyebrow at the group. Well, this should be interesting.
Just then a pair of large, identically dressed men made their way to Kragus, who had been watching the procession onto his ship with wide eyes.
"Are you Varmond?" one of them asked, his plump, pinched face glaring comically at the captain.
"N-no, I be Kragus, yer captain."
"Well, then, Captain Kragus, my brother and I demand to be shown to our rooms at once. It's been a tiring trip, and we need to rest."
"We need to rest," the man beside him echoed, nodding his head.
"Oh, well, of course," Kragus answered, his eyes ricocheting from one man to the other. "What are your names?"
The first man turned his nose up haughtily. "Names? You mean to tell us that you don't know who we are? Silly commoner."
"Silly," the second man asserted with an equally haughty air.
"My name is Quintillus, and this is my brother, Septimus," the man answered, gesturing to his brother with a ring-bedecked hand. "Kings, the both of us, and yet you have the gall to ask us our names, as if we were common peasants? How truly insolent."
"Insolent!" Septimus nodded, with a sniff.
"Well, eh...er," Kragus stammered.
"Kings, are they?" Caesar murmured, low enough that the brothers couldn't hear, but loud enough that Pompey and Xena turned to look at him.
"You know them?" Xena asked.
"Hm, yes," Caesar answered thoughtfully. "They acquired the throne to their kingdom rather...strangely. Their father was found dead in his bed, presumably from a heart attack, though nothing was proven. A week later, they found the mother hanged in her room. They blamed suicide, but again..." the Roman trailed off as he stared at the brothers.
"Foul play?" Pompey guessed.
"Wouldn't be too surprising," Caesar answered back.
"What about him?" Pompey said, and Xena turned her attention away from the boisterous brothers to a hulking, sulking man standing off to the side. He stood still as a statue, arms crossed, quietly glaring at the others around him.
"Jarod," she murmured under her breath.
"Old friend of yours?" Caesar asked.
"Hardly," she answered. "The man's an assassin. I've seen his work; brutal and messy. He used to lead a small band once, but I took care of that," she said with a small, nostalgic smirk. "Now, he's just a hired killer."
"Does he talk?" Pompey said, looking suspiciously at the man's still frame. Jarod met his eyes, grunted once, then looked moodily away.
"No," Xena answered curtly. "I cut off his tongue when I took care of his little band of thugs."
A broad, sneering smile graced Caesar's face as he heard this. " Just his tongue, Xena? You must have been feeling magnanimous."
Xena only glared coldly at him.
Meanwhile, a man dressed heavily in furs and heavy boots approached the trio. His brown craggy face held a derisive smirk. "Vhere eez ze captain?" he asked in a booming, thickly accented voice.
Xena cocked her head to the side, arched an eyebrow, and pointed to Kragus, who was still sandwiched between Quintillus and Septimus. "Right over there," she answered.
He grunted, spared Kragus a quick glance, then returned his gaze to Xena. His eyes looked her up and down, in a manner so obvious that she barely fought the urge to put a fist to his face. "Ju vould be ze scullery girl, jes? Go, take my bags to my room," he commanded.
Behind her, Caesar coughed, and Xena narrowed her eyes. "You're not from around here, are you?" she drawled.
"Ech, no," the man said. "I am Szarbo. I come from ze North," he proclaimed.
"Szarbo, baby!" another voice behind him said. A man dressed in a tight fitting tunic waltzed up to stand beside the hulking man. He waved his hand at Xena in a most... effeminate...manner. "Naw, this girl here's the Destroyer of Nations, doncha know. The Warrior Princess of Kalmai, the Lioness of Amphipolis, the Butcher of Cirra. She ain't no scullery girl, mister," he finished prissily.
"Ju? Ju are ze Destroyer of Nations?" Szarbo said incredulously.
"Just call me Xena," she said, inwardly wincing at the title. "And who might you be?" she asked the newcomer, who was busily buffing his nails on the feather boa around his neck.
"Da name's Rupaultus," he said. "Rupaultus, king of Dragnopolis." Suddenly, his eyes shifted over to the pair of Romans standing behind Xena, who had been watching with amused eyes. "Ooh, and who might the two beautifulbrass bods over there be?" he cooed.
Pompey edged surreptitiously away from the leering king. "Pompey the Magnus, of Rome," he said with as much pomp as he could muster.
"Magnus? I like a man with titles," Rupaultus grinned. "And you..."
"Caesar. Julius Caesar," the other Roman replied, shifting ever so slightly under Rupaultus' appreciative gaze.
"Mm,mm,mm." Suddenly, Rupaultus leaned close to Xena and whispered, "They yours?"
Xena grinned widely at the slightly horrified expressions on the Romans' faces. "No, by all means, feel free to —"
"Gentlemen!" Kragus yelled, interrupting. Xena whipped her head around to see that the flustered captain had moved to stand before them, a tired expression on his face. "If you'd all jus' quiet down, I'll show ye to yer rooms."
"Wait a minute," Xena called out. "We're missing someone."
"What do you mean?" Pompey asked, frowning.
"There's only nine passengers so far, including Ragnar. I was told there'd be ten —"
Just then, a loud ululating yell reached their ears. Xena raised her eyes to find the source and saw, standing by the sails, a tanned, muscular man wearing a loincloth staring down at them. With a jump, the man landed on the deck before a stunned group.
"I Tarkhan," he proclaimed haltingly. "Where room?"
Kragus sighed helplessly, as Caesar smirked. "Well, if it isn't the barbarian king. You know, it's said that he's a raving lunatic."
"Is he ever in the right boat," Xena muttered.
To Be Continued...
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