You Always Got To Me

by Ice Princess

Story Line: A short reflection story. Xena's thoughts as she leaves Ares on the hill, thinking of the words she had just said to him.

Setting: The last scene of "Coming Home".

Disclaimer: If I owned any of this, the characters, or anything else, would I be writing fan fictions hoping thye would come true? No. So, I don't own any of them, so you can't sue *me*.

Rating: G

Violence/Sex/Language: None, none, none. Like I said, 'reflections' story. For those of you who have read other pieces of my work, know I like to do alot of these...

Dedicated to: Krista, cause Kevin Smith rocks, right? hehe.

I'd also like to dedicate it to Vicki, cause she's the one who always pushes me to finish my stories. Thanks. :)

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You always got to me. But you knew that already, didn't you? And I knew that you knew, yet neither of us spoke it. We played a game that didn't alow us. But we still knew.

And you always got to me. And I could deny to my friends, to the world, and even to you. But my heart knew the truth. My heart. The only thing I had that could never, would never, deny the love I have for you.

And yet we play games, and deny our feelings, as one desperetly tries to win the other and fails. Only to try again.

Like a moth to the flame. The only way to describe our relationship. I draw you to me, not by my will, but it happens anyway. And I reject you, burn your heart, and you retreat. But before long, you will return. It's inevitable. Carved into our destiny, our fate.

Is that what our relationship is? Fate? Destiny? Are we doomed to live our lives, keeping our love a lie, when all we want to do is embrace the other and never let go? But I can't. I can't give in. It's against my code, against everything I stand for. But you. You changed. You changed your ways, your hate into love. Your being. Can I do the same? Or is our love hopeless? Hopeless because of me...?

So I'll walk away, and you'll do the same. But not before you stare after me, wishing for once we could have been truthful. And after a look at what this could have been before I walked away, feeling like I'd be sick, like I'd colapse if I took another step in the opposite direction of your being and when I'm gone, and you know I won't take that step back, only then do you leave.

So I'll go back to playing my game and you'll go back to yours.

And one day, if our pride will alow us, we'll stop the games.

But until then, you'll always remember and I'll always regret...

That you got to me.

FIN